Livingston, Zambia

Livingston:

I learned just how important the power of words really are. With our words we can speak life or death, and sometimes we may not know which we are doing. I had quite a negative beginning as a local tried to “prophesy” over me about my future. This is a new concept to me to begin with, but I do know and believe that prophecy is given to bring hope and encouragement, not make you fearful of your heavenly father and scared of the future. So be careful what you say and pray over people. Satan will try and use whatever words come out of our mouth to bring us down.

After much prayer and team encouragement though, I was able to put this in the past and rely on God’s voice and not others’. One such great opportunity was while sharing my testimony at a local high school youth meeting. I had felt God’s prompting to share and had been preparing something about how I’ve been learning about God’s Fatherly Love. But as we were driving to the place, I began to feel unsettled about this and began to sense God wanted me to share about forgiveness and my journey and breakthrough in this area. I was not prepared, so I quickly thought up something in my head right before I was to share. It turned out to be a total God-thing as the topic that night for the youth was on forgiveness and relationship reconciliation. So cool to see how God moves and works and an encouragement to me to really listen and obey God’s voice in all things!

Livingston days were pretty laid back, moving from different places like local orphanges, hospitals, schools and villages. But after 3:30, it was football time! With a wide-open dirt pitch and 30 some kids running around barefoot, we Muzungus (white man) split up and joined the teams. For me this was a great experience as I enjoyed showing up the boys J, and they enjoyed making fun of one another when I pulled a nice move. However, it also was an eye opening experience to just how blessed we are as females in North America. Not too many girls play soccer overseas-they are not really given much opportunity and are looked down upon as being weak. So I pray my interaction during those weeks on the soccer pitch was a positive impact to them that women too are created with God given abilities.

Another amaing part of Livingston was meeting Jeanette. She and her husband own a private orphanage and have taken in 9 abandoned children and are looking to take in up to 30. They have become “mother and father” to these beautiful children and having only been married for a year, they have taken on quite a task, but are doing so with joy and obedience to God’s calling. Jeanette was a great impact to me as she talked about her childhood dream of moving to Africa and helping kids. She did not grow up Christian, but now that she has met God and has stepped out in His calling, she can see how that dream was given by her heavenly Father. God has a dream for all of us-both the believers and the not-yet believers and it gives me great hope that the dreams I felt when I was younger do fall into a bigger plan! We have a heavenly father who loves us and cannot wait to reveal more and more dreams to us!

And Lastly, ZIG-ZAG, our beloved friend. Zig Zag is amazing and has really humbled me and given me a renewed passion for kids and building up a strong generation of youth who want to change the world. He is such a kind, giving person and a talented artist. One that I believe God will use in many ways. Whether we were elephant hunting with him, walking through sketchy markets, meeting his friends, playing soccer or playing with kids he was a great friend to all of us. We were so blessed to have the chance to spend our full 4 weeks with him. He just seemed to appear in our lives and the only way to explain it all was God and his perfect timing! When we looked back we saw just how much God was orchestrating everything. One such example-we had prayed as a team in may where we should spend the opening day of world cup. We had the option to fly to Durban early and be in the S. Africa for the opening ceremony festivities; or we could stay in Zambia an extra day and invite people we had met to share in the ceremonies with us. We felt we should stay in Zambia even though it seemed “cooler” to be in the host country, and as it turned out, we spent that evening at Zig Zag’s family’s house, got to pray with Him and His family and really had a great evening. God is amazing-once again, one little step of obedience in hearing His voice, and we were truly blessed.

the problem with fear

Fear's definition: not trusting in God. I've been gripped pretty severly the past week with this thought. I thought I was trusting enough, but everytime we talk about africa and the stats of South Africa, I freak out inside. I put on a smile and laugh saying "God is Good, we will be safe", but I have not believed it in my heart.... He wants us to focus on statistics and what seems like "reality"-b/c once we get our eyes off of our father, fear sets in, we focus on it and give the devil a foothold, a ledge to sit and torment our minds, a place to mess with our dreams and our faith in Who God says He is.....

Praise God though- I can testify that He has broken the spirit of fear for me We are talking about spiritual warfare this week and just how proclaiming things in the physical realm affect the spiritual realm around us-so as we spoke out who we were in Christ and then what His plans were for Africa, what He sees in Africa, and I found myself crying out for the city of Johhnesburg and declaring hope, peace, love and light over that torn city. and the song "God of this city" was echoing in my heart as I felt God speak and declare "that city is mine-no longer will it be a city of violence, rape, murder, drugs, crime....my light will penetrate it and send the darkness fleeing....." I no longer want to look at the staggering stats but have hope and see that it will be redeemed, God IS NOT FINISHED THERE YET! There is hope rising, and I am going into that city and country bearing the name of Christ and HIS power in my life...darkness cannot stay hidden where there is light....my team, along with many other ywam outreach teams and probably other missionaries going to world cup are bringing THAT TRUE LIGHT...the devil stands no chance...Our VICTORY is already WON! Hallelujah!!!!!!!

PRAISE GOD, I no longer have to fear our time there, for we are not given a spirit of fear but a spirit of love and hope...I am a bringer of LIGHT and cannot wait to see how the darkness tremble at GOD's HOLY POWER.......

please continue to keep our teams in your prayers, that we can continue to be devliered from the power of fear - I praise God something was broken today, but the devil is a roaring lion and I know he will try again....so I ask for continual prayer as i embrace God's overcoming spirit!!!!!!

love you guys....

byron bay outreach

Byron Bay is the stereotypical beach/hippie town where all backpackers flock to for extended periods of time. we had the oppurtunity to stay with a local church and minister to the community through 2 sport tournaments as well as serving alongside the Byron Bay YWAM team at the annual Nimbin festival and their weekend bar-b-ques.

Byron proved to have many interseting experiences. We arrived very tired and were sent straight away to helping with a community bar-b-que in the park downtown. Every friday, the byron ywam team sets up free burgers and music as a chance to get to know people and share their testimonies. our job was to go meet people-and i began to see that I have allowed myself to become comfortable with indivdualized living-i don't like when random people come and start talking to me, so I had trouble trying to do it myself. But it was cool to see the Holy Spirit work in the conversations I did have. I was just making small talk and without even knowing it, I was sharing with them about finidng my identity in Christ over things in this world and learning how to forgive others-and it flowed naturally, which to me was somewhat of a new concept. So that first night went pretty well-but the next day was an even more "different" experience.

We spent the day at the annual Nimbin Festival, which is a weekend set aside to celebrate marijuna, handing out free pancakes and chai. I'm to young to have gone to woodstock-but if i could imagine what it was like-Nimbin was it! I was quite out of my element to say the least-upon arriving, the parade was starting and a giant blown-up blunt was paraded down the street as everyone around us lit up and enjoyed oblivion. I really did not know how to start any conversations with people, but as I stepped out and tried, God once more blew me away with His movement, not mine. Twice during the day, I was able to share with people parts of my testimony-and thankfully I didn't feel like I was forcing it upon them, they just happened to ask the right questions...

and the coolest converstaion happened later at night-these 2 european girls were getting chai and really wanted to know why we were handing out free food, so my friend marcelo told them to come talk to me becasue he had to work on the chai station..and it this point in the night, i was tired and not really feeling bold in approaching anyone to talk- so it was totally God ordained for these girls to be close by and honestly seeking to hear about God. For the next hour my friend johnathan and I were able to share with them a lot about the gospel and again it was cool to see how God put us 2 together at that exact moment because Johnathan is more blunt and up front and was sharing a lot of facts and points from the bible and I was sharing a lot of personal testimony....julia, one of the girls was really really searching, not quite there yet, but she was asking the right questions and i encouraged her to keep asking and searching because God was the one giving her those questions-He too is searching her out, so I pray someone she meets in her travels will help shed some more light on that.

Lastly, in Byron we also held 2 sport tournaments on the beach. We had a great turnout from people and were able to break down a lot of walls against christianity. So many people kept saying, "you guys are christians?" and really surpsied that Christians can have fun and want to give out free food and want to love on people and would set up sports tournmanets on the beach...so many people just have a misconception of what we are all about. Christ came to give freedom and life-as a Christian I'm learning more and more just how much I have a responsiblity in showing that to people. and it is cool to see their face light up with that fact that being a christian DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING!

living in paradise!

It is so cool to look back and see how God moves! I had no idea what to expect for our 3 weeks of travel up north, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. The first week was spent living in an aborginal community on a quiet beach. In the mornings we had our normal lectures and in the afternoon we hung out with the pastor, learning different things about their culture (I made my first ever spear-but it didn’t really fly straight ha). The cool thing was though-our lectures this week, in the most beautiful spot ever, was on dreams, identity and pursuing God’s purposes-exactly what I left Melbourne fearing and praying about. And that fear of not wanting to dream because I viewed God has a mean dad was slowly remolded ( and still being remolded). And at the end of the week when I looked back over the last 3 weeks of lectures etc-I was able to see how God had used different speakers and friends in my life to lead me to where I was most receptive of what He wants to show me -which is His beauty and His love.

There could have been no other plan more wonderfully orchestrated in my eyes-it was the week I had been praying about for several months. Just a time of enjoying God-it has been really hard for me to do that with such a skewed view of Who He is. But surrounded constantly by His physical beauty in this community on the beach helped me step through that wall more than I had before. I don’t think I’m through the whole way, but I’ve broken through some hard bricks.

one of the really cool things was this lighthouse on a hill. It had been reminding me all week of the verse about God being a light unto our path, especially since we were talking about our God-given purposes etc. and one morning as I was running down from it, God showed me this cool picture----on the way down there was little steps and large steps and then a lot of fallen palm branches on the path and as I made my way down, God showed me that He will continue to show me the part of my path I need for now, but he wants to get the debrie and broken stuff out of my life first and will gently lead me to take small steps of faith which will lead to bigger steps of faith. And for me, the steps may not all fit together in my eyes, but once as I continue to travel down HIS path, it will become clearer to the beautiful picture He has in mind-which at this point was me running out onto the empty beach!....all i could do was stop and take it all in....

holy spirit week

Thumbs up:

Got to hear from a guy who helped pioneer the YWAM base in Melbourne where I am living. Had some cool ministry times with him, praying for us and really encouraging us in our individual journeys.

Thumbs down:

Realized I was living in fear of having dreams and goals for the future. I had spent the week really praying about some things I felt God had placed on my heart for the future but in the end was still not really finding any clarity about any of it. And oddly enough, a friend approached me the next week asking if we could sit down and talk because he felt like God really just wanted him to encourage me with something. So through our conversation, he began asking about what my dreams and aspirations were for the future, and more I thought about it, the more I began to realize I was not fully trusting God with my future- at all!. It hit me that I wasn’t allowing myself to dream about anything because I have a fear that whatever I dream about or desire, God will want to snatch away from me, because if it is what ‘I want‘, than it must not be what ‘He wants‘.

I’m not quite sure why I have had this skewed view of God as an angry dad wanting to take away all toys and forms of pleasure for His children-but I understand a little bit more why learning about the Father HEART of God has been such a process and journey for me through this DTS. I want to know and experience the Fathers love like it truly is-not live in fear of what I think it to be. I have been saying it with my mouth, but still not truly believing it with my heart that our God is a good God, a loving father who wants to work with His children. So the week was good but humbling and gave me a good, tear-wrenching heart check! But, I’m thankful that God is a God of Love & Mercy and doesn’t’ give up on us when we don’t quite believe in His goodness.

And moreover, I’m so thankful that my friend was obedient to stepping out in faith and approaching me about it all. He had no idea why God told him to talk to me-but he did it anyways, and for that I am truly grateful and also encouraged to live a life of faith more often. you never know what life you can impact if you obey God’s leading.

camp and such

We've enjoyed a week back on base-time flying as usual. Camp was an interesting experience but still good. We stayed a catholic school and spent a week ministering to about 30 kids from southern Australia. As a past FCA camp counsellor, it was cool to see how different a camp can be run but how the same God in the US in the same awesome God here who desires to reach young people. The australian youth were so passionate and ready to just go for it. On the first day they learned about hearing the voice of God and I was completely blown away as 14 yr olds were stepping out in faith and sharing words for us leaders. For one exercise, we all picked a name out of the hat and w/o looking at began to pray and ask for an encouraging word to share with that person. i figured they would be skeptical and freaked out by this idea, b/c i defitely was when my DTS had to try it but I was so encouraged to see them step out in boldness. And later on in the week, God used that same 14 yr old to minister to me and pray for me with some of the stuff i had been struggling with. and it all just strengthened my faith to know that God does choose and desire to use all of us, no matter what the age or ability.



another cool thing from camp was having the chance to hang out with another YWAM base. The peopl in charge of the camp were involved in dance and singing ministries and shared a lot about passions and God putting certain desires in our heart for a reason. I was really encouraged as they shared about the journey God put them on to where they are now, serving God and loving what they do, and where He is calling them as a band. This area of my life-future and passions- has been on my heart a lot lately as i contemplate what God's will for me after this all. and I was able to talk and pray with these girls, and one of them shared with me the story of moses in exodus where God asks him "what is in your hand" and it was a staff and how God told moses to throw the staff down and it turned into a snake etc. And she just felt God was asking me "what tool is in your hand for me to use?"....So I'm still praying about it all-I believe God is def. leading me into some form of minsitry with soccer, but the specifics are yet to be discovered :)...



I may not have a spotlight on my path, but we were never promised that. We were promised a "light unto your path", so I'm praying that I can trust in the little light that He is streaming! And I'm excited as I'm seeing more and more just how much our un-boring our God is. :) what fun would it be if He gave us all direction and insight all at once?

my friend gave an interesting analogy on this-- on our way to camp, we drove along the "great ocean road" which sounthern australia is known for. we could have driven straight to camp in 5 hrs, but instead we took a longer, 10hr route to enjoy God's wonderful creation. and my friend encouraged us that you gotta enjoy the journeys God puts us all on. If we take the short-cuts, we miss out on the beauty of the journey, the experiences God gives us.

So I'm pluggin away! :)
ephesians 2:10-great reminder to us all of God's plan for our lives!

intimacy

The past 3 weeks have been quite crazy emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I think the biggest thing to sum up the 3 weeks is the need for intimacy with Christ first and foremost. I feel like I have hit that "burnout" point of trying so hard to apply everything from lectures to my life, reflecting on what God is doing and teaching and change habits and start new disciplines etc etc....I'm tired and worn out. But something that really kept hitting me hard last week when talking about missions is God's desire to just be with us. We spent a lot of time looking at the gospels and studying how Jesus and his disciples lived. He spent three years just building relationship with his team of society misfits and dropouts. He hung out with them, He taught them and he revealed amazing insights to them, all in preparation for them to "go" and as our speaker put it, "bleed for the nations". He so impacted them, that they would do anything to see Him return...and it was a powerful testimony that we too, are called before we "go" to spend time with Jesus, build intimacy so we are compelled to "go" instead of going out of obligation or duty.

I have also been challenged and encouraged the past few weeks just in boldness. I find it funny (somewhat) how the devil tries to discourage you in one area and God just opens multiple doors for you to try again. A few weeks ago we talked about "the kingdom of God" and about what it means to bring God's kingdom down to earth and what that looked like for Jesus and his Disciples. We heard some crazy stories of people rising from the dead and healings etc and were really rocked in our thinking about the power of the holy spirit living in us and our role here on earth to see healing on all levels take place. so, at the end of the week, we were sent on a "Treasure hunt" in melbourne city to try and reach out to people. I was pretty excited and felt pretty optimistic about talking to people, but I didn't feel my group stepped out too much. We did get to talk to a few people and prayed for them, but I personally felt like I kept walking past opportunities b/c i was too afraid to freak someone out if i approached them. and it was hard not to compare and feel discouraged about my lack of boldness when we heard all the other groups talk about the great conversations they were able to have with people etc etc. And Unfortunately, I dwelled on this a little too much, but praise God, I am surrounded by encouraging and wise people, and a God who doesn't give up on us. He continued to speak to my heart and encourage me that He just wants to spend time with me, and the boldness in my weaker areas will come.....

And boldness comes in different forms, as He went on to affirm later in the week as I was given the chance to lead out in a prayer intercession time for one of our leaders. It was unlike any other prayer meeting I had ever been to, and as a DTS student and someone not used to all the warfare going on, I wasn't sure I was the right person for the job. But when the bible says the spirit will intercede for us when we dont' know what to pray-IT SPEAKS THE TRUTH! :) So, all I can really say is, God is good and He continues to use us amidst our inadequacies no matter how big or small.

so, if nothing else, the past few weeks have really challenged me to just keep my face in the word and let God show me new things about Himself, His love and plan for my life instead of me "trying" so hard. He and his disciples led some crazy lives and what's even crazier is how he left the same mandate for us in 2010. But above all, He promises to be with us every step of the way, and through every mistake or opportunity we miss, He is offering us a hand to stand and continue on.