Monday, August 16, 2010

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

South Africa-Jo'Burg

Our last stop for our time in Africa was in the capital world-cup city-Johanesburg! I again would be lying if I said I wasn’t driving there in fear and expecting the worst after hearing so much stuff about the city-but again God’s faithfulness proved to be true!

We arrived in J-burg the day before my 23rd birthday and I wasn’t too excited about it as We were told we would be staying at a YWAM complex in the inner city, where you mainly want to just stay indoors unless you have a vehicle to transport you from A to B. I was scared! And to top it off, the first thing we hear from the YWAM staff during our orientation talk was, “Are you Willing to Die doing the work of God, what is your theology on missions and death…????” J-burg is not a safe city to any extent and as much as that statement created fear in me, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has big plans for that city. The heart of the YWAM base there is to raise up the youth to change their nation, to change their hurting city and even though we started out in the city with fear, I left with HOPE and believe J-burg will be a city after God. As the song “God of the City” cries…”greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done…” I pray this over J-Burg and over the youth that will lead the country.

During our time here, we were blessed to work alongside 2 other YWAM teams who were staying at the base. One team was from Swailand and the other from Argentina. They were a great blessing to us as we were able to build relationships over the language and cultural barriers and literally see God bring together people from all over to work out His plans. One group worked at a kid’s camp called “the winds of change” another group went and played sports with local kids at a sports complex in the neighborhood and a third group went to the fan park in the city and talked and prayed with people. All groups had amazing stories to tell about how God moved. I was part of the school and fan park groups. The fan park was a great experience as I began to see one of God’s promises fulfilled in my life.

At the very beginning of DTS, when we were learning about hearing God’s voice, God had given me a vision of me playing soccer with some African youth in an indoor arena. I had no idea what it meant, but I continued to see the same picture throughout DTS and just felt like the holy spirit was saying my passion for soccer was going to be used to show God’s love….and it was so werid b/c when we got to the fan park, there was this
5v5 field set up that looked like an indoor arena and I had the opportunity to play soccer with a bunch of guys there in the afternoons….a totally cool confirmation for me that God continues to speak like He does int eh bible and He is faithful to fulfilling His promises!!!

Working at the school was also a great experience as I was put in the 6-7th grade class and able to teach and encourage them in their faith. For many, Christianity was just about church, but in our 2 weeks we really sought to open up their eyes to the power of God and His desire to have a meaningful and personal relationship with them through prayer, studying His word and serving Him. It was crazy some of the stuff these younger kids were already doing. One girl in particular, Toheble, started evangelizing in one of the roughest parts of town and had started her own women’s prayer group/church from people she had talked to. A 6th GRADER!!!!!- what an amazing testimony to me that God will use whoever is willing, and a challenge as I asked myself, “am I willing and bold like Toheble”? These kids are on fire for God and they are what bring me Hope as I pray for J-burg. They are running after God, interceding for their community for the nations and seeing God use them in some great ways!

On another note-beyond working in the school and fan park, God revealed some pretty amazing things to me personally while in J-Burg. Upon arriving in J-burg, I was feeling discouraged about ministry and feeling inadequate but I felt God calming me with the words, “it’s not over yet, take hope, I wills show you amazing things in these last few weeks.” I began reading 1 John and God continued to bring me to 4:4--“The one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world”. The power of the living God rests in all of us-but believing in this has been a hard journey for me this DTS, especially when it comes to healings. I had never experienced any type of healing, but I wanted to believe in it either way and I wanted to declare with faith that God is our healer. So in Durban, my faith was tested. I had an ankle injury that left me sitting on the sidelines during our VBS week and leaving me very frustrated and confused as I wanted to believe that He truly wanted to heal me so I could continue interacting with the kids…yet it still continued to bug me. So I had a choice- I could have declared God’s goodness in the circumstance or sulk…I continued to have faith that I would see God’s miraculous power, and about 2 weeks later, God remained faithful. My ankle was not healed, but someone else’s foot was!
One of my Argentina friends (David) had been suffering a swollen foot and at first I felt odd asking if I could pray for it b/c it was a small injury, but I knew that it was annoying him and I also believed God wanted to heal him. So through my broken Spanish, I finally riled up enough courage and prayed for Him knowing I had to be obedient to what God had been saying. Later that afternoon, David came and told me that his foot was completely healed. I couldn’t believe it- it was such an incredible confirmation to me that GOD IS INDEED GOOD AND THE ULTIMATE HEALER! But God wasn’t done yet!

I had also been suffering from a horrible cold and the a few nights after David’s foot healing, I developed very swollen glands and was up all night in congestion. The next morning during our prayer time, I was really discouraged b/c I was supposed to be helping with worship, but I had no voice, I felt like crap and did not feel like going to the kid’s camp. But God silently prompted me to turn to Psalm 86:17 where it says “show me a sign of your goodness” so I began to pray that throughout worship. At the end of our worship time, they asked all the sick people to gather in the center to get prayer (there were many of us L), and as they were praying, my throat suddenly opened up and I could swallow again. It was the craziest thing I have ever experienced!!!!!! I couldn’t stop smiling and was jumping in my skin to share and testify to God’s goodness after the prayer. So I share that to bring hope and encouragement that even though sometimes we don’t see God’s power work when we want it to (like with my ankle injury), He is still at work in one way or another. We may not always understand it, but He will show His goodness to us!

South AFrica-Durban

The energy flying into this city was incredible! The World Cup games had began the day before so soccer fans were EVERYWHERE. Never in my life have I been able to play soccer in an airport with people from italy, Algeria, Scotland, England, Canada and camaroon. Let alone in one of the most dangerous airports of the world, J-Burg. But it was so cool to see how one thing like a soccer ball can bring together people from all over and provide a window of opportunity to share what we are doing.

Our actual stay in Durban proved to be a difficult few weeks for myself and team. Our first week was spent at a local church helping establish a VBS program. They really don’t know what “kid’s ministry” is so we were helping some Canadian missinarys instill a vision for the future. But our attitudes were crap to say the least. No one wanted to be doing it, most of us felt like we were not being used at all as there were onlyl 10 kids and 9 leaders. We ended up having to stay at the church with no shower use and no transportation, and tension just seemed to be building within our team dynamics. But God is faithful and gracious, PRAISE THE LORD, He did not give up on us. For me it was a turning week as I began to see that it’s not the big things that count-it’s our heart and laying down our rights so that God can move how HE wants to move.

God gave me Psalm 95:6 one day-“come let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker…” and hit me with the fact that we are called to worship Him in all circumstances. He is our Lord, why wouldn’t I trust that the VBS is where we were meant to be? Sure, it may not be what we felt was the “right” ministry, but we have the responsibility to worship God in our circumstances, both fun and not fun. So God really humbled me to begin to see the week as His divine workmanship. And as it turned out, hearing the kids’ testimonies at the end of the week were enough to bring me crying to my knees that once again God knows best!

The second week we worked in various settings-one of the key people that impacted us was a lady named Petra. She has a huge heart for the homeless and prostitutes of Durban. She has established a safe house away from the city and as she goes out on the streets every night, sees numerous people accept Jesus into their lives. It was encouraging and challenging to work with her as she is a woman with more boldness than I have ever seen. I would be lying if I said it was easy and I was not afraid walking the streets at 11 pm at night in South Africa talking to prostitutes and homeless people, but it was incredible to see God move in their lives and see Him provide oppurtunities to pray with people and share His love.

Lastly, we also worked with a local “House of Prayer” church, consisting of some very hospitable and loving Indian women. They bent over backwards to make us feel at home in Durban, from providing home-cooked lunches on the beach, a prayer walk of the city and a free pampering session for our entire team. Their love for God flowed effortlessly out of them as they ministred to us and blessed our socks off! It challenged me to view my time, recources, food, money…everything as gifts from God that are given to be used to bless others! They were a wonderful example of believers living out God’s love!

Zambia- Lusaka

After 2 weeks in the southern part of Zambia, we traveled another 6 hrs to Lusaka, the capital and biggest city. While there we did more soccer stuff with local youth, and spent 2 days with a after-school program called “kids alive” that is trying to help one of the poorest townships. The education programs are horrific and the crime rate is among the highest-but these kids sure do know how to smile and have fun.

The main thing we were involved with during these 2 weeks was Grippes, a developing community right beside the YWAM base. Each day, we walked over the fence and through the field to a community of mud huts. The people there were amazing! Everyone that we met would invite us into their home and offer us their lunch or dinner-I had never experienced hospitality like it before. They were always so happy to help us out and spend time with us.
One lady that we got to know very well was Brenda. Brenda has 2 children and lives with her sister making samosas (fried dough triangles filled with rice) and fritas (fried dough) out of her hut. They are the best things you have ever tasted and everyday she greeted us with a big smile. She attest to living a hard life, but she still finds a way to have joy. Such a great testimony to us!

Another great experience with the village was working with the school. Every day we would go play sports with the kids after school, and though we couldn’t speak their local language, we had a lot of fun learning net ball and helping build a football pitch for them. I again was the only girl playing soccer in my skirt, but I soon left my true passion to learn the “women’s” sport of netball. The girls loved helping us (or maybe more laughing at our lack of skill) and the mother’s even joined us one day for a match where the teacher’s and I won! J Through this experience I really began to grow a passion for middle school girls. Throughout the DTS, God really began to speak to me about using me as an encourager for broken girls and I absolutely loved playing with these 6th graders. I never felt like much of a kid person till I met them. They were so beautiful and really were a great blessing to my life as they invited me to hang out with them.

We also had the great opportunity to work with the teachers of the school. Usually groups that come in only target the children, but we made a great effort to build relationships with the teachers and were truly blessed in return by them. We had them over for dinner the one night and then spent 2 hrs learning and singing songs with them-they had so much joy in life. They volunteer at this school, but travel up to an hour to get there-just to volunteer. I don’t know how they do it, but they were a great inspiration to us.

Lastly, one of the people that really touched my life in Lusaka was a YWAMer named Sizwe. Lusaka was one of my favorite places, but it also had one of the most scariest experiences for us as girls. We had decided to go to a pre-cup “friendly” football game between Zambia and South Africa, but it proved to be the worst day of our entire trip. The crowd consisted of mainly drunken men and after about 15 minutes of verbal abuse and numerous physical advances, we ran out of the stadium, the other 2 girls and I pretty shaken up and in shock at the abuse. I left feeling like a piece of meat and utterly degraded, and saddened by the fact that this is the typical response towards women with many of these men. And through it all, I felt God saying to me “I love these men just as much as I love you”-and it was a hard pill to swallow. So we were supposed to be working with Sizwe later that evening, doing ministry at a local mall, but as the evening unfolded it became a great healing time for the girls and I and God began to work on that pill a little bit. Sizwe had a lot of great wisdom to share and stepped in the gap for us in asking for forgiveness on behalf of the Zambian men. It seems little talking about it now, but it spoke volumes to me. We all have been wronged by people, but seeing someone innocent step in the gap and take on that blame for us so that we can walk in forgiveness towards those that harmed us is quite a testimony to God’s love and exactly what He has done for us. He too has stood in the gap for all of us sinners. So I’m forever grateful to Sizwe and his evening of “counseling”.

But as Lusaka came to an end, we looked ahead to our time in South Africa and the building anticipation of being in a country where nations from literally ALL OVER THE WORLD were gathering…..

Livingston, Zambia


I learned just how important the power of words really are. With our words we can speak life or death, and sometimes we may not know which we are doing. I had quite a negative beginning as a local tried to “prophesy” over me about my future. This is a new concept to me to begin with, but I do know and believe that prophecy is given to bring hope and encouragement, not make you fearful of your heavenly father and scared of the future. So be careful what you say and pray over people. Satan will try and use whatever words come out of our mouth to bring us down.

After much prayer and team encouragement though, I was able to put this in the past and rely on God’s voice and not others’. One such great opportunity was while sharing my testimony at a local high school youth meeting. I had felt God’s prompting to share and had been preparing something about how I’ve been learning about God’s Fatherly Love. But as we were driving to the place, I began to feel unsettled about this and began to sense God wanted me to share about forgiveness and my journey and breakthrough in this area. I was not prepared, so I quickly thought up something in my head right before I was to share. It turned out to be a total God-thing as the topic that night for the youth was on forgiveness and relationship reconciliation. So cool to see how God moves and works and an encouragement to me to really listen and obey God’s voice in all things!

Livingston days were pretty laid back, moving from different places like local orphanges, hospitals, schools and villages. But after 3:30, it was football time! With a wide-open dirt pitch and 30 some kids running around barefoot, we Muzungus (white man) split up and joined the teams. For me this was a great experience as I enjoyed showing up the boys J, and they enjoyed making fun of one another when I pulled a nice move. However, it also was an eye opening experience to just how blessed we are as females in North America. Not too many girls play soccer overseas-they are not really given much opportunity and are looked down upon as being weak. So I pray my interaction during those weeks on the soccer pitch was a positive impact to them that women too are created with God given abilities.

Another amaing part of Livingston was meeting Jeanette. She and her husband own a private orphanage and have taken in 9 abandoned children and are looking to take in up to 30. They have become “mother and father” to these beautiful children and having only been married for a year, they have taken on quite a task, but are doing so with joy and obedience to God’s calling. Jeanette was a great impact to me as she talked about her childhood dream of moving to Africa and helping kids. She did not grow up Christian, but now that she has met God and has stepped out in His calling, she can see how that dream was given by her heavenly Father. God has a dream for all of us-both the believers and the not-yet believers and it gives me great hope that the dreams I felt when I was younger do fall into a bigger plan! We have a heavenly father who loves us and cannot wait to reveal more and more dreams to us!

And Lastly, ZIG-ZAG, our beloved friend. Zig Zag is amazing and has really humbled me and given me a renewed passion for kids and building up a strong generation of youth who want to change the world. He is such a kind, giving person and a talented artist. One that I believe God will use in many ways. Whether we were elephant hunting with him, walking through sketchy markets, meeting his friends, playing soccer or playing with kids he was a great friend to all of us. We were so blessed to have the chance to spend our full 4 weeks with him. He just seemed to appear in our lives and the only way to explain it all was God and his perfect timing! When we looked back we saw just how much God was orchestrating everything. One such example-we had prayed as a team in may where we should spend the opening day of world cup. We had the option to fly to Durban early and be in the S. Africa for the opening ceremony festivities; or we could stay in Zambia an extra day and invite people we had met to share in the ceremonies with us. We felt we should stay in Zambia even though it seemed “cooler” to be in the host country, and as it turned out, we spent that evening at Zig Zag’s family’s house, got to pray with Him and His family and really had a great evening. God is amazing-once again, one little step of obedience in hearing His voice, and we were truly blessed.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

the problem with fear

Fear's definition: not trusting in God. I've been gripped pretty severly the past week with this thought. I thought I was trusting enough, but everytime we talk about africa and the stats of South Africa, I freak out inside. I put on a smile and laugh saying "God is Good, we will be safe", but I have not believed it in my heart.... He wants us to focus on statistics and what seems like "reality"-b/c once we get our eyes off of our father, fear sets in, we focus on it and give the devil a foothold, a ledge to sit and torment our minds, a place to mess with our dreams and our faith in Who God says He is.....

Praise God though- I can testify that He has broken the spirit of fear for me We are talking about spiritual warfare this week and just how proclaiming things in the physical realm affect the spiritual realm around us-so as we spoke out who we were in Christ and then what His plans were for Africa, what He sees in Africa, and I found myself crying out for the city of Johhnesburg and declaring hope, peace, love and light over that torn city. and the song "God of this city" was echoing in my heart as I felt God speak and declare "that city is mine-no longer will it be a city of violence, rape, murder, drugs, light will penetrate it and send the darkness fleeing....." I no longer want to look at the staggering stats but have hope and see that it will be redeemed, God IS NOT FINISHED THERE YET! There is hope rising, and I am going into that city and country bearing the name of Christ and HIS power in my life...darkness cannot stay hidden where there is team, along with many other ywam outreach teams and probably other missionaries going to world cup are bringing THAT TRUE LIGHT...the devil stands no chance...Our VICTORY is already WON! Hallelujah!!!!!!!

PRAISE GOD, I no longer have to fear our time there, for we are not given a spirit of fear but a spirit of love and hope...I am a bringer of LIGHT and cannot wait to see how the darkness tremble at GOD's HOLY POWER.......

please continue to keep our teams in your prayers, that we can continue to be devliered from the power of fear - I praise God something was broken today, but the devil is a roaring lion and I know he will try I ask for continual prayer as i embrace God's overcoming spirit!!!!!!

love you guys....

Sunday, May 9, 2010

byron bay outreach

Byron Bay is the stereotypical beach/hippie town where all backpackers flock to for extended periods of time. we had the oppurtunity to stay with a local church and minister to the community through 2 sport tournaments as well as serving alongside the Byron Bay YWAM team at the annual Nimbin festival and their weekend bar-b-ques.

Byron proved to have many interseting experiences. We arrived very tired and were sent straight away to helping with a community bar-b-que in the park downtown. Every friday, the byron ywam team sets up free burgers and music as a chance to get to know people and share their testimonies. our job was to go meet people-and i began to see that I have allowed myself to become comfortable with indivdualized living-i don't like when random people come and start talking to me, so I had trouble trying to do it myself. But it was cool to see the Holy Spirit work in the conversations I did have. I was just making small talk and without even knowing it, I was sharing with them about finidng my identity in Christ over things in this world and learning how to forgive others-and it flowed naturally, which to me was somewhat of a new concept. So that first night went pretty well-but the next day was an even more "different" experience.

We spent the day at the annual Nimbin Festival, which is a weekend set aside to celebrate marijuna, handing out free pancakes and chai. I'm to young to have gone to woodstock-but if i could imagine what it was like-Nimbin was it! I was quite out of my element to say the least-upon arriving, the parade was starting and a giant blown-up blunt was paraded down the street as everyone around us lit up and enjoyed oblivion. I really did not know how to start any conversations with people, but as I stepped out and tried, God once more blew me away with His movement, not mine. Twice during the day, I was able to share with people parts of my testimony-and thankfully I didn't feel like I was forcing it upon them, they just happened to ask the right questions...

and the coolest converstaion happened later at night-these 2 european girls were getting chai and really wanted to know why we were handing out free food, so my friend marcelo told them to come talk to me becasue he had to work on the chai station..and it this point in the night, i was tired and not really feeling bold in approaching anyone to talk- so it was totally God ordained for these girls to be close by and honestly seeking to hear about God. For the next hour my friend johnathan and I were able to share with them a lot about the gospel and again it was cool to see how God put us 2 together at that exact moment because Johnathan is more blunt and up front and was sharing a lot of facts and points from the bible and I was sharing a lot of personal testimony....julia, one of the girls was really really searching, not quite there yet, but she was asking the right questions and i encouraged her to keep asking and searching because God was the one giving her those questions-He too is searching her out, so I pray someone she meets in her travels will help shed some more light on that.

Lastly, in Byron we also held 2 sport tournaments on the beach. We had a great turnout from people and were able to break down a lot of walls against christianity. So many people kept saying, "you guys are christians?" and really surpsied that Christians can have fun and want to give out free food and want to love on people and would set up sports tournmanets on the many people just have a misconception of what we are all about. Christ came to give freedom and life-as a Christian I'm learning more and more just how much I have a responsiblity in showing that to people. and it is cool to see their face light up with that fact that being a christian DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING!

living in paradise!

It is so cool to look back and see how God moves! I had no idea what to expect for our 3 weeks of travel up north, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. The first week was spent living in an aborginal community on a quiet beach. In the mornings we had our normal lectures and in the afternoon we hung out with the pastor, learning different things about their culture (I made my first ever spear-but it didn’t really fly straight ha). The cool thing was though-our lectures this week, in the most beautiful spot ever, was on dreams, identity and pursuing God’s purposes-exactly what I left Melbourne fearing and praying about. And that fear of not wanting to dream because I viewed God has a mean dad was slowly remolded ( and still being remolded). And at the end of the week when I looked back over the last 3 weeks of lectures etc-I was able to see how God had used different speakers and friends in my life to lead me to where I was most receptive of what He wants to show me -which is His beauty and His love.

There could have been no other plan more wonderfully orchestrated in my eyes-it was the week I had been praying about for several months. Just a time of enjoying God-it has been really hard for me to do that with such a skewed view of Who He is. But surrounded constantly by His physical beauty in this community on the beach helped me step through that wall more than I had before. I don’t think I’m through the whole way, but I’ve broken through some hard bricks.

one of the really cool things was this lighthouse on a hill. It had been reminding me all week of the verse about God being a light unto our path, especially since we were talking about our God-given purposes etc. and one morning as I was running down from it, God showed me this cool picture----on the way down there was little steps and large steps and then a lot of fallen palm branches on the path and as I made my way down, God showed me that He will continue to show me the part of my path I need for now, but he wants to get the debrie and broken stuff out of my life first and will gently lead me to take small steps of faith which will lead to bigger steps of faith. And for me, the steps may not all fit together in my eyes, but once as I continue to travel down HIS path, it will become clearer to the beautiful picture He has in mind-which at this point was me running out onto the empty beach!....all i could do was stop and take it all in....

holy spirit week

Thumbs up:

Got to hear from a guy who helped pioneer the YWAM base in Melbourne where I am living. Had some cool ministry times with him, praying for us and really encouraging us in our individual journeys.

Thumbs down:

Realized I was living in fear of having dreams and goals for the future. I had spent the week really praying about some things I felt God had placed on my heart for the future but in the end was still not really finding any clarity about any of it. And oddly enough, a friend approached me the next week asking if we could sit down and talk because he felt like God really just wanted him to encourage me with something. So through our conversation, he began asking about what my dreams and aspirations were for the future, and more I thought about it, the more I began to realize I was not fully trusting God with my future- at all!. It hit me that I wasn’t allowing myself to dream about anything because I have a fear that whatever I dream about or desire, God will want to snatch away from me, because if it is what ‘I want‘, than it must not be what ‘He wants‘.

I’m not quite sure why I have had this skewed view of God as an angry dad wanting to take away all toys and forms of pleasure for His children-but I understand a little bit more why learning about the Father HEART of God has been such a process and journey for me through this DTS. I want to know and experience the Fathers love like it truly is-not live in fear of what I think it to be. I have been saying it with my mouth, but still not truly believing it with my heart that our God is a good God, a loving father who wants to work with His children. So the week was good but humbling and gave me a good, tear-wrenching heart check! But, I’m thankful that God is a God of Love & Mercy and doesn’t’ give up on us when we don’t quite believe in His goodness.

And moreover, I’m so thankful that my friend was obedient to stepping out in faith and approaching me about it all. He had no idea why God told him to talk to me-but he did it anyways, and for that I am truly grateful and also encouraged to live a life of faith more often. you never know what life you can impact if you obey God’s leading.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

camp and such

We've enjoyed a week back on base-time flying as usual. Camp was an interesting experience but still good. We stayed a catholic school and spent a week ministering to about 30 kids from southern Australia. As a past FCA camp counsellor, it was cool to see how different a camp can be run but how the same God in the US in the same awesome God here who desires to reach young people. The australian youth were so passionate and ready to just go for it. On the first day they learned about hearing the voice of God and I was completely blown away as 14 yr olds were stepping out in faith and sharing words for us leaders. For one exercise, we all picked a name out of the hat and w/o looking at began to pray and ask for an encouraging word to share with that person. i figured they would be skeptical and freaked out by this idea, b/c i defitely was when my DTS had to try it but I was so encouraged to see them step out in boldness. And later on in the week, God used that same 14 yr old to minister to me and pray for me with some of the stuff i had been struggling with. and it all just strengthened my faith to know that God does choose and desire to use all of us, no matter what the age or ability.

another cool thing from camp was having the chance to hang out with another YWAM base. The peopl in charge of the camp were involved in dance and singing ministries and shared a lot about passions and God putting certain desires in our heart for a reason. I was really encouraged as they shared about the journey God put them on to where they are now, serving God and loving what they do, and where He is calling them as a band. This area of my life-future and passions- has been on my heart a lot lately as i contemplate what God's will for me after this all. and I was able to talk and pray with these girls, and one of them shared with me the story of moses in exodus where God asks him "what is in your hand" and it was a staff and how God told moses to throw the staff down and it turned into a snake etc. And she just felt God was asking me "what tool is in your hand for me to use?"....So I'm still praying about it all-I believe God is def. leading me into some form of minsitry with soccer, but the specifics are yet to be discovered :)...

I may not have a spotlight on my path, but we were never promised that. We were promised a "light unto your path", so I'm praying that I can trust in the little light that He is streaming! And I'm excited as I'm seeing more and more just how much our un-boring our God is. :) what fun would it be if He gave us all direction and insight all at once?

my friend gave an interesting analogy on this-- on our way to camp, we drove along the "great ocean road" which sounthern australia is known for. we could have driven straight to camp in 5 hrs, but instead we took a longer, 10hr route to enjoy God's wonderful creation. and my friend encouraged us that you gotta enjoy the journeys God puts us all on. If we take the short-cuts, we miss out on the beauty of the journey, the experiences God gives us.

So I'm pluggin away! :)
ephesians 2:10-great reminder to us all of God's plan for our lives!

Friday, April 2, 2010


The past 3 weeks have been quite crazy emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I think the biggest thing to sum up the 3 weeks is the need for intimacy with Christ first and foremost. I feel like I have hit that "burnout" point of trying so hard to apply everything from lectures to my life, reflecting on what God is doing and teaching and change habits and start new disciplines etc etc....I'm tired and worn out. But something that really kept hitting me hard last week when talking about missions is God's desire to just be with us. We spent a lot of time looking at the gospels and studying how Jesus and his disciples lived. He spent three years just building relationship with his team of society misfits and dropouts. He hung out with them, He taught them and he revealed amazing insights to them, all in preparation for them to "go" and as our speaker put it, "bleed for the nations". He so impacted them, that they would do anything to see Him return...and it was a powerful testimony that we too, are called before we "go" to spend time with Jesus, build intimacy so we are compelled to "go" instead of going out of obligation or duty.

I have also been challenged and encouraged the past few weeks just in boldness. I find it funny (somewhat) how the devil tries to discourage you in one area and God just opens multiple doors for you to try again. A few weeks ago we talked about "the kingdom of God" and about what it means to bring God's kingdom down to earth and what that looked like for Jesus and his Disciples. We heard some crazy stories of people rising from the dead and healings etc and were really rocked in our thinking about the power of the holy spirit living in us and our role here on earth to see healing on all levels take place. so, at the end of the week, we were sent on a "Treasure hunt" in melbourne city to try and reach out to people. I was pretty excited and felt pretty optimistic about talking to people, but I didn't feel my group stepped out too much. We did get to talk to a few people and prayed for them, but I personally felt like I kept walking past opportunities b/c i was too afraid to freak someone out if i approached them. and it was hard not to compare and feel discouraged about my lack of boldness when we heard all the other groups talk about the great conversations they were able to have with people etc etc. And Unfortunately, I dwelled on this a little too much, but praise God, I am surrounded by encouraging and wise people, and a God who doesn't give up on us. He continued to speak to my heart and encourage me that He just wants to spend time with me, and the boldness in my weaker areas will come.....

And boldness comes in different forms, as He went on to affirm later in the week as I was given the chance to lead out in a prayer intercession time for one of our leaders. It was unlike any other prayer meeting I had ever been to, and as a DTS student and someone not used to all the warfare going on, I wasn't sure I was the right person for the job. But when the bible says the spirit will intercede for us when we dont' know what to pray-IT SPEAKS THE TRUTH! :) So, all I can really say is, God is good and He continues to use us amidst our inadequacies no matter how big or small.

so, if nothing else, the past few weeks have really challenged me to just keep my face in the word and let God show me new things about Himself, His love and plan for my life instead of me "trying" so hard. He and his disciples led some crazy lives and what's even crazier is how he left the same mandate for us in 2010. But above all, He promises to be with us every step of the way, and through every mistake or opportunity we miss, He is offering us a hand to stand and continue on.

Friday, March 5, 2010

universal languages

We had the privilege this week to hear from a Fijian islander, Wonqa, about the bible. He has incredible heart for people and was a great example of Wycliffe's slogan, "Do life with People". He not only shared his passion for getting in the word with us in the classroom, he made the effort to hang out with us during the week as well. For one night, he took us to Mcdonalds to read through the book of acts-at first I thought we were just trying to switch up the location of classes, but then we were discussing the importance of reading scripture out loud and how it's not just about hearing it but about breaking things in the spiritual realm.

And probably the most fun was his time with us on the pitch. Wonqa is the leader for a YWAM base up north in Australia where they do a lot of outreach with Rugby, so he took us a few days and taught us the wonderful game and you could just sense it was more than a sport for him. He loved it, but he loved sharing Jesus through it. and i know some people may be thinking, that's a weird sport to be sharing Jesus through, as it involves a lot of, um, well....aggression, broken bones sometimes....:) but his stories were encouraging, just how they have been able to impact a lot of young boy's who come out to play against them. Nothing is impossible for our Father-even a rough sport like Rugby can show His love. I love that! God cannot be put in a box!

and the sport was awesome-I had been thinking about playing in a league this fall in lancaster and now am really excited to find a team now that I actually know the crazy rules.
And beyond rugby, we've had the chance to learn Australian Football and Cricket with some little kids we met in the park. and in a few weeks we'll be running some sports clinics for the community-so God has definitely been working through the love of sport and I'm excited to see how he will use it this week.

Friday, February 26, 2010

God's humor

I find it funny sometimes how God works. Last week I was working on lyaing down pride issues from finding my identity in "things". And then this week I was humbled-over and over. I hurt my quad real bad at the beginning of the week and continued to try and play some sports on it (bad idea)_and then on wed night, I opted to ploay goalie forour soccer team since I could not run. God knew what HE was doing... it was the most humliating game ever-playing this highly skilled middle eastern team who squashed us 6-3. they scored in the first minute-right through my legs and continued to score goals that I should have been able to stop--and as each goal went in, i found myself feeling less and less confident in who I was and more and more frustrated that I could not play and show them that I was indeed an actual soccer player. and i just had to laugh afterward at the irony of what i wanted to work on last week. God defintely has given me oppurtunities to practice laying it down, and for that I am grateful. And it was also one of those weeks where satan felt the desire to attack other identity issues and I felt myself continually comparing myself to the other girls etc. but God challenged me to turn those thoughts into prayers of blessing upon the girl that I may have been jealous of, to lift them up and see them how God sees them. And it was awesome to feel the change in heart, to be free to love them and free to be confident in who God wants me to be.

I was reminded again of the picture that God gave me during the 1st week of the white dress and heard him urging me yet again-reach out and embrace your beauty fully. don't cling to what you think is wrong with your design or personality or what not. I cannot add anythign to the dress-It is made perfect by my maker, by my father for me. ... So I am thankful for God's grace in yet again showing me my worth in His eyes.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


The weeks here are flying by, yet also moving in slow motion. It feels like so long ago that we had our last speaker, and yet it was only a few days and that week was jam packed with lots of intensity and seemed to go by quickly. I've been challenged to really embrace living in the "now" and not looking into past or future because each day holds so much oppurtunity.

last week's speaker was an energetic, passionate kiwi from NZ and spoke boldly all week long on making Jesus our LORD, not just savior. I was really looking foward to the week. Everyone on base was warning us that Mark was a challenger and would get us out of our comfort zone, but I was excited about it all. One thing I have learned thus far is to put yourself out of your comfort zone-life is more fun when you just go for it! So i started the week with open arms and ended the week with open arms-now the hard part is living out what was talked about. ...which basically boiled down to-have you put yourself on the altar for God to use you how He would like? Or are we holding onto rights (that aren't really ours in the first place)?

The whole week led up to a 12 hour worship/repentance/celebration day on saturday which was an amazing expeirence for all. Our classroom was transformed into a symbolic version of the OT Tabernacle and we went through the different stages (praise/acknowledging who God is, repenting/looking to cross, anointing, commuion, celebration in "holy of holies"...). it took a few hours to get hearts humbled and softened enough for the Holy Spirit to work. We had talked a lot about the "fear of man" and how it traps us from truly living out God's call on our lives, so we had to work out some "fear of man" issues, but God certainly did move. I will never forgot watching my fellow brothers weep and pour out their hearts-it was an awesome picture of boys becoming Men who truly wanted to pursue God with all of their hearts.

The repentance stage was also a moving time as people got a lot of baggage off of their chest. For me, it was a time to offer some burnt sacrifices and consecrate my future dreams and aspirations to God. We were asked to bring some symbols to "lay down", so I brought my soccer cleats and passport. I believe God wants to use my passion for sport but I don't want my idea of what that looks like to block HIS. and similarily, I don't want to put boundaries on where I will go and serve, so He holds my passport! And even I still feel like I'm looking through a muddy glass, I'm pressing on with faith that He will continue to reveal little bits of His desire for my life.

The day then ended in some awesome celebration-and even though it was a long day, I never really felt like I was trapped by time. We were in the presence of God and there was really nothing else we wanted to be doing.
so it was an awesome intense week, but now the challenge starts. I don't want that to be just a 24 hour "experience" for me or my team. Mountain-tops are great, but we are not meant to sit on them and living out your Christian walk is not about emotions or "feeling" something. It's about obedience to God in the mundane and extraordinary. A lot of people had a new experience with God, but I don't want to be ruled by emotions, I want to continue pursuing His presence every day....

so please pray that my group and I will not just sit on the mountaintop. That we would be ready to live out a life on God's altar. it is easy to say you put yourself up there, but it's not alwasy easy to stay up there.

sorry that was a long blog-but a lot happened in one week-i could have shared so much more. but I'm off to our sports' practice. Got the chance to teach the aussie's and europeans some ultimate frisbee-catching on pretty quick :)

other prayer requests:
hurt quad-it's been bugging me all week, afraid i have a strain
unity in team-it's been frustrating trying to get people on the same page in our room

Seek HIM!!!!!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

freedoms and challenges

What do we choose to do with the \freedoms God gives to us? \i have had a very freeing week. we talked about the nature and characger of God and how our minds were not meant to reason our way to God. If we try and completely reason our way, we are saying our minds are bigger than God and it just hit me how much \i have been trying to live by reason rather than faith. But
God chooses to reveal HImself to us and HIS timing is perfect, not mine. I feel I am alwasy trying to "do" all the time, but God is the one who reveals himself to me-i can rest in that peace that He will reveal himself to me when I am ready.....

But in this freedom, I have realy felt God asking me, what are you going to do with it? live for yourself, or live to bring freedom for others so i have been challenged to seek out relationships with the girls on my team. \i have received countless words of knowledge or wisdom from staff about my ability to be a leader and encourage those around me, and \i believe God is asking me to step out and just pour out my life to others around me/ I would be lying if i didn't say i was apprehensive. I feel that if i continaully am pouring into others, i will feel drained, but a still small voice wispered
"Trust-I want to show you so much-i will be your spring of living water, if you just trust and step out in faith, i will fill you in a way you have never experienced..."

So i'm praying for the strength to step out in faith-to continually seek to bring hope to those around me-go out of my way to encourage and spend time with people who may be hurting....

Friday, February 12, 2010

thumbs up

thumb's up for:

eating kangaroo

tim tim slams in peppermint tea=chocolate all over my face

playing rugby w/ clueless foreginers

learning auusie rules-and stinking at it :)

getting called "mate" everyother second


Monday, February 8, 2010

embracing life

it is hard to believe i have only been here for a week. it has been one beautiful day after another in so many ways. My trip started off a little hazy as there were some nervous parts of my flight experiences with delays and what not, but 30 some hours later I arrived tired but excited. We spent the first few days getting to know one another and learning about YWAM and our particular base.

I'm really excited for our group as there are only 17 students and 6 staff, so we have the wonderful oppurtunity to really come alongside each other and get to know each other in a powerful way. as i told some people before leaving, i was a little afraid about the age gap with students being younger and all, but God has just showed me how much we really can learn from one another. I know we are all hand-picked for this purpose and God is just already using us to speak truth into each other's lives. Just a quick story of some cool things God has already been doing.....

this past weekend, we drove out to the "bush" (country) and had the chance to stay a t afriends house in the beautiful countryside (saw kangaroos, ate kangaroo :) and had such a great time talking and learning about hearing God's voice. And during one session we were asked to think about how God views us. And for those of you who know me well, I tend to be a perfectionist and am usually really hard on myself; and as I was praying and refelcting, God showed me this picture of a girl in a beautiful white dress and really just spoke to my heart and asked me to stop holding on to my rags-my deficiencies that I tend to dwell on, b/c He wants to give me this dress. it was so so freeing!!!! and even cooler, one of the leaders shared with me that she too saw God handing me this dress and just how HE desires to build me up to be an example and an encouragment to other girls.....

so I was really encouraged and excited about this revelation and about an hour later, God gave me such a chance to minister to some girls on my trip. We were spending some time praying for one another and I shared with the group that I felt the need to pray for someone dealing with suicide and hoplessless and it turned out 2 of the girls on my team had been thinking about it before this trip. So I was able to pray with them and share some of my own personal journey with depression and just felt so blessed and encouraged by GOd to be used in such a way. it was totally HIM that brought about the oppurtunity and He just continued to blow my mind throughout the weekend with how HE chooses to move in people's lives.

We now have entered into our first week of lectures and the normal schedule, so just continue to keep us in your prayers as people still are having trouble with homesickness etc. it has been cool to see people starting to come out of their shell, but I know more will happen....

and as for me-I ask that you just pray for my heart to be undivided for the LORD. I'm loving the chance to play sports every day, having fun living in this beautiful community with awesome people, but I don't want God's blessings to become a distraction. God is awesome and has given me so much to be thankful for here and so much just to enjoy from HIM, but I want HIM to remain the center and KING of my heart!